My friend sent me a message shortly before January 1st, saying that the coming of the new year would mean that “the 90’s would be 20 years ago,” or something similar along those lines. In the context of an AIM conversation, I simply shrugged it off with “stop making me feel old -_-” — to which he responded “XDD” — and we just left it at that. But, as weird or as cheesy as it may sound, that statement got me thinking a lot more later that night than I initially believed could come out of a casual online chat. The 90’s seemed so nearby, so tangible, up until the moment I read that statement and realized what it meant. What hit me hardest was that I had come from that decade; the 90’s were my childhood. I grew up there. Now, all of a sudden, another decade has finished; everyone’s saying goodbye to the 2000’s and hello to 2010, leaving behind the past in such a rush in hopes of a better future. I’m 19, going on 20. I am those two decades past.
…My post’s not really deep enough…or maybe too deep…or probably just not developed enough…but anyway, I’ll return to post more later. It was supposed to have some more things in it, but my train of thought just jumped the tracks, and I need sleep to bring it back home. Night, guys. Good luck in the new year and enjoy it thoroughly!
I dont want to sound hella emo or even make this sound hella sappy. But, here goes.
So the day after New Year’s I decided I’d sit down and clean my room. I was going through all of my stupid junk and I see my old Latin text books and randomly scribbled on the right hand I see Placetne tibi and Babae. Somebody else reading this will probably think: what the fuck? But for my high school friends and myself in particular these words bring up a swell of emotions: joy, laughter, and deep sadness. Nostalgia never seems to be pleasant thing. It is a constant reminder that “times are changing” and a feeling that you cannot go back and redo certain things.
However, I think sometimes people just become too preoccupied with not only the past but also the future. How will i get a job? When will I graduate? When will I find the person that truly loves and cares for me? These things make us keep thinking of what will happen next when what happens next doesn’t really matter two shits.
I swear from tomorrow I will try to live in the moment. Fuck the past and fuck the future. However, I know that three days from now I will probably revert to my thinking of the future and waiting to reach my next goal.
And so I hope that this new year I can cherish every moment. The good and the bad. I dont want to achieve any specific goal because those will come by itself. I want to just feel.
A wise turtle once said: The past is history. The future a mystery. Today is a gift and that’s why we call it the present.